Jealousy
by Furyan Goddess
Summary: Follow up to /s/5770559/1/Whimper for More.  Kirk is Jealous when Spock talks to Uhura, is he willing to take their relationship to the next level to make Spock happy?  M/M SLASH M for Content


Author: Furyan Goddess  
Title: Jealousy  
Rating: NC-17 M/M Slash and language.  
Fandom: Star Trek 09  
Pairing: Kirk and Spock  
Summary: Kirk is jealous of Spock's possible interest in another, will he realize what they have before it's too late?  
Feedback: Yes Please. I love feed back. I get lots of hits, not much feedie. Feed the beasts!  
Archive: VX and FF only.  
Author's Notes: Thank you to Bitten for hashing this out with me. Ideas and beta. Thanks for making me write again... and graciously lending your time for my support.

This is a follow up to Whimper for More .net/s/5770559/1/Whimper_for_More

AN: Kirk is bold, Spock normal

* * *

**Well, what the fuck? She's all over him. There's **_**got **_**to be some kind of regulation against that kind of thing, at least in public. Does he **_**like **_**it or does he not even notice? You can never tell with the green****-****blooded bastard.**

**I swear to God, if she laughs like that again, I'm gonna throw up.**

**"What?"**

**"It's your turn, Jim."**

**Right. Chess with Bones. **_**Fun.**_** Fucking sick of chess. Sick of sitting here, night after night just so I can get a few extra moments with some pointed****-****eared asshole that has no idea that I even **_**exist**_** at the moment.**

**Thought he was different, but Uhura's short skirt can screw up any man, I guess. Get them thinking with their dicks. I'll admit it, I've been tempted, who wouldn't be. But a body like that has no place in an officer****'****s lounge. Maybe I should make separate ones? Got to be enough females to make it appear it isn't a ploy to get rid of her?**

**And who the hell came up with those uniforms? Sh****o****rt skirts and fuck****-****me boots? Really? How is that professional?**

**Christ, what is wrong with me****?**** Bitching about half****-****naked women? Screwing a man? No, not screwing, being screwed.**

_**"What?"**_

__**"You know what, Jim, forget it. Chess is no fun when you have to play it yourself."**

**And there goes Bones, bitching at me again!**

**Trying to head off his tirade, I grumble, "Shut up, I'm playin', I'm playin'."**

**"No you're not, you're sitting here stewing about God knows what!"**

**"I'm not stewing."**

**"Right..."**

**That's when I stop listening to him. He can go on and on about nothing for hours.**

**Eww, is she rubbing his arm and did he just scoot closer to her? ****Or did he move**** so he could get a better look at the vid screen?**

**Could he be flirting? Can Vulcans flirt? He doesn't with me, doesn't sit that close ****or ****talk in that deep, soft voice. He just fu- just does his thing and leaves.**

**No, we don't talk, not when we're ... together. Sure, we talk during chess, idle conversation that is more foreplay than anything. Intelligence stimulates Spock and my emotions frustrate and fascinate him. I turn up the smart ass quips and charm when we play, just to ****keep him guessing.**

**He still likes to pretend that he's in control of his emotions, but in truth, I think I control them. I know how to get him going, how to piss him off and how to get hi****m**** so hot that he can't do anything but fuck me six ways from Sunday. Yep, I got Spock all figured out, or I did, until the skirt threw her hat in the ring.**

**As far as I know, Spock has never tapped a woman on-board, or in space dock for that matter. I've never **_**seen**_** him with a woman. He's never come to me smelling like one either. Good thing for him, I don't know how I would react to that but, I can only assume it wouldn't be good.**

**Shit, double standard. I still sleep with women all the time, I can't help it. I love pussy. He knows that, everyone does. Still, I don't rub it in his face, I always shower, even change the sheets, if need be. I wonder if it bothers him, though, that I touch someone else in a way I've never touched him? Bites and nips aren't the same as kisses. Grasping, demanding hands don't make you burn the same as lingering touches.**

**FUCK, why am I think about this stuff****?**** I mean, SPOCK! Hello? I can't be getting all sappy over a **_**man**_**.**

**Man, Bones is still going. Screw this, "I'm outta here****,****" I announce to everyone before I leave without another word.**

**Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spock's brow shoot up and ****hear ****a few colored words, best kept from mixed company****,**** from Bones. Another good argument for separate officer's lounges.**

**It's early so I head to the bridge. All is calm, Sulu's at the Helm. Scotty and his little friend are down in engineering doing who knows what. I'm a smart man, but what he does is beyond even me. The only ones that can understand Scotty's lingo ****are**** Spock and Chekov.**

**I proceed to my quarters and try to read. When that fails, I take a shower. Time ticks by slowly, but it's getting later and later and still no Spock.**

**I know he only comes when he thinks everyone else is asleep and no one will see him, but still, I hate to wait. I'm too wound up to sleep****;**** kinda pissed**** off,**** to tell the truth. I have no reason, no right, but again, emotions have no logic.**

**See, thinking like a Vulcan, oh, the horror!**

**Forty-five minutes later, the door slides open and in steps Spock. He pauses when he sees I'm not in bed, waiting naked for him to impale me.**

**He stiffens when I engage the lock, but remains where he is.**

**"Did you enjoy your evening, Mr. Spock?"**

**I use his formal name, one that almost never passes my lips.**

**"It was, enlightening..."**

**"Hummmm****.****"**

**I just bet it was. I step closer, trying to catch Uhura's scent. Nothing; good for him.**

**"I did not copulate with the Lieutenant****,****" Spock tells me softly.**

**Bollocks, I know he can't lie but it pisses me off that he assumes to know what I'm speculating. The bastard always seems to know what I'm thinking.**

**"Well, she sure seemed to want a piece of you."**

**He remains erect and proper, "Just because one is interested in sex does not mean that it needs to be had."**

**Well, Spock, a two timing bastard, never would have guessed. "So you **_**do**_** want to tap Uhura?"**

**"Tap, Captain? Forgive me, but I am unfamiliar with this word."**

**"What?" I snorted. Dammit, doesn't he ever let go? Not even when he's inside of me. Always so controlled. Well, I've had it with his discipline. Time to change the rules.**

**"Take off your clothes, Spock."**

**"Captain?"**

**Sighing, I roll my eyes, "Don't start with me, take them off." Yeah, I know, it's the first time I've ever made it an order. After our first few fumbling touches, a quick stroke and grab when no one else was around, we settled into a routine that hasn't changed since. Perhaps that's part of the problem?**

**Has Spock grown bored with our set up? Is he thinking of ending things, knowing that there can never be any more?  
****  
I'm sorry, I'm not done with him yet. He's mine until I decide otherwise.**

**Once he's naked, I look my fill. I **_**allow**_** myself the pleasure to see him, really see him for the first time.**

**His legs are so long, lean muscle defines him everywhere. Black hair dusting, highlighting and hiding in equal parts. I touch him, trace the dips and valleys. I watch as his skin trembles under my touch, feel his body quiver for more. Yeah, he is enjoying himself alright. Why hasn't he ever asked for this? Was he afraid? Spock, scared? No, I can't imagine that. Perhaps he was sure I'd deny him. Maybe I would have... before. Not now, not anymore.**

**He's hard, seeming almost painfully so and I reach around and stroke him. His body jerks at the contact and I chuckle. I watch as a tiny pearl forms at the head of his cock and lick my lips.**

**"Do you like that?" I ask him, enjoying myself now. I see his jaw work in the low light before he swallows. This isn't the way it's normally done and I've thrown him off. Good. I love to keep Spock guessing, keep his brain working so when it finally does stop, it's explosive.**

**"I asked you a question, Commander."**

**He closes his eyes, swallows again and answers, "Yes."**

**See, there's that soft deep voice I've been missing. I feel him tremble more under my hands and grin wickedly. No, he's not going anywhere for a really long time. I think I'm gonna enjoy this. I strip off my own uniform and press up against him, just as naked as he. Spock's slightly taller than me and I use that to my advantage. I press my hard cock against the crack of his ass, again, contact that has never been made before.**

**"Are you thinking about leaving me, Spock?"**

**"No."**

**"You need me****, yes?****"**

**"Perhaps I do, but it does not appear that you require me for anything more than..." Spock trails off with a gasp as I cup his balls. They're large and firm, the skin like silk.**

**"I read an interesting fact this evening, while I sat, **_**alone**_**, in my rooms." I keep stroking and he keeps trembling, very nice. "I read that Vulcan's can have multiple orgasms. Is that true, Mr. Spock?"**

**His silence is my answer. "So why do you just leave after the first one?"**

**Spock, still trying to hold on to his ****rigid**** control answers matter-of-factly, "Because you appear only ****to ****require one."**

**I stop all movement trying to read the statement. Is it a challenge? Because I can never back down from those****, ****or is it something else? Resentment? **_**Disgust?**_** Pain, perhaps? ****Does my ****attitude hurt him?**** Blasted Vulcans and their ability to hide emotions!**

**See, with women, you can always tell when they're pissed, ****but ****not with Spock, not unless I'm way too far over the line and then he snaps. It's sexy, but painful as hell.**

**This time, when I touch him, there's a bite, "Do I not satisfy you, Spock?"**

**"You do, Captain."**

**"Perhaps you think Uhura could do more for you?" **

**Pissed off at the very thought and out to prove that statement wrong, I give a hard shove and he stumble****s ****on to the bed face first. Using all my strength, I flip him over and straddle his hips. "I told you to call me Jim."**

**He doesn't respond, just looks at me with those dark eyes of his, so human. I can see a mix of emotion****; ****desire, hurt... a hint of anger. Spock does not like to be manhandled, yet he lays still under me. Is it because I am his commanding officer or because I'm his lover? The lines that separate the two are becoming quite blurred between us.**

**"What do you want from me?" I ask him, clearly, truly unsure. I don't like the feeling at all. I want to know how to make him happy. What I can do to make him stay.**

**"I require nothing."**

**Anger surges again and I bury my hands in his hair and grip tight, "****T****hat's not what I asked!" I growl, on the edge of losing it.**

**Violence is riding me hard and I can almost picture him with a busted lip. Green blood trickling out... wonder what it tastes like?**

**Spock just blinks up at me, his face passive, only his eyes burn. This is the reason I never looked at him like this before. I can't handle it. His eyes give him way, every time. My hands hurt him, bruise him, yet he takes it. It shoulders it all, all of my shit, and never says a word about what he wants.**

**Before I realize what I'm doing, I crush my lips to his and shove my tongue in his mouth. It's my first taste of him, and him of me.**

**His flavor is sharper than a woman's, wild and exotic. My fingers tighten even more as his arms lace around my back, pulling me closer, holding me immobile. It feels good, I have to admit, him holding me tight like this, but it's not what I'm looking for. Not what I need right now.**

**There's so much ****to do to ****him, so many ideas fill my mind.. where to start? I want to feel what he does when he takes me.**

**With one last nip, I pull back from his lips and lock eyes with him. "Have you ever been fucked, Spock, or do you only prefer the top?"**

**I don't ****wait**** for an answer. I move between his legs and shove his knees back. Looking down, I see all of him, his cock, his ball and his hole. I can smell his musk, I have before but never this strong. Is it the position or the circumstance? Truthfully, it doesn't matter.**

**I've done women this way, never a man. Even if I had, it would be different. Spock is special. This raging anger and jealousy is novel and uncomfortable. I don't care for it and all of this is Spock's fault; it's time he paid the price.**

**I thumb his hole, press. I want in, now. I don't have the patience to prep him, besides, he can take it, right?**

**I push in a second finger, just because he never did answer me if he's ever done this before. He remains stoic, just looking at me with those smoldering eyes and never asks for a drop of lube.**

**I pull my fingers out and position myself at his entrance before I reach under his legs and wrap my hands around his forearms.**

**"I'm your first, aren't I, Spock?" He opens his mouth to say something and I push as deep as I'm able.**

**Jesus, he's tight.**

**

* * *

**

It burns! A white hot flame piercing me. I gasp for breath and bear down. I want to expel him, it, from my body, but it only makes him slide deeper. Why would he not take the time to prep me, as I do him? I spare him any pain that I can.

My stomach rolls and I arch. I can not move far, he has me pinned where he wants me. He has me at his mercy. An angry Kirk is a dangerous one.

I am stronger, I could break his hold if I could get past the blistering heat.

I would pull away if I was not so weak, if I did not want this, him, so desperately. If I shoved him away, he may stop and I could not stand that.

Another deep breath helps along with the shifting of his hips. Pain is less, fullness more.

I feel as if I am choking on him. He is so deep how could I not feel possessed? Owned?

This, I am sure, was the reason behind the sudden turn of events. It is Jim's goal to show me my place and remind me that I am his and his alone.

It is unwarranted. If I am but one thing, it is faithful. Many times I have wondered how it would be to feel his touch and taste his lips. It is something that has plagued my dreams since before the first time I touched him. The fruition of it has made it worth the wait, though I do wished he used some lubrication.

For almost a year now, he has failed to see how his touching others effected me. How the long line of women that have graced his bed and felt this same feeling that I am now, cut me.

In his self-indulgence, he has overlooked how it bruises me. I am Vulcan, I do not know how to show emotion but I still feel it. I still hurt and love. Bleed and ache.

I do not know what I expect of him. I can not imagine him giving up women and perhaps I can learn to live with that. It is the denial of what we are, what we have that hurts me.

If our relationship were ever to get out, it would cause quite a stir. There might be reprimands and transfers, I have not researched. I do not want to know the answers or risk discovery.

At the moment, it does not matter. What does matter is Jim is inside of me. His hands are touching, gripping and bruising.

I can not stop the moan that escapes me. The small movements have given way to harder thrusts. The sound of slapping flesh fills the room. His panting breaths loud in my ear.

He releases my legs and leans farther over me. I am unsure if he wants me to touch him but I find that I can not help myself. The pain is almost gone now, just a quiet burn is left.

In and out he pumps and I shift under him and he bottoms out deeper than ever. Light flashes behind my closed lids and I know if he hits that spot again, I will climax.

He feels me grow and stiffen and chuckles. "Come for me, Spock," he demands and I can not deny my Captain anything.

My release is hard, almost painful and I can hear myself making a very undignified noise. Still, he does not stop.

* * *

**Spock's orgasm cools some of my anger. The look of painful bliss on his face stuns me and pinches something deep inside. When he opens his eyes to look at me, the naked emotions that I see there ****make ****me ashamed. **

**I lean down and kiss him, it's not tender, but it isn't brutal either. After a few moments, I pull back, "I'm sorry I hurt you." **

**Spock raises his brow at me and says, "I understand that all first times hurt." **

**I snorted at that. Maybe, but he took a lot more time with me. He deserved the same consideration. Man, I really am a dick sometimes.**

**Cursing my own carelessness, I reach for the lube and coat both myself and him in it generously. I move my hips, just a small rocking motion. "You know, you have this vein," I trace it with my finger, "that pops out when you come. Only other time I saw it was when you were choking the life out of me." **

**"I would apologize, but you deserved it****," h****e said, a little breathless. ****  
****  
****I had to laugh, "That was the point and well, you were the one that told me to do that!" **

**"Captain, that was not **_**me**_**." **

**If Spock expected a debate, he had another thing coming. He was rock hard again and I have yet to come. **

**With the lube in place, penetration was smooth and very, very nice this time. I'm pretty sure my eyes crossed. Spock stopped mid sentence and moaned. Yeah, I like the sound of that. He's still tight, but it's more comfortable for the both of us this time. **

**As I move, he raises up to meet me with his hips. I watch as he reaches for me, grabs my arm and holds tight. Fuck, he's stunning in his pleasure. Head thrown back, neck long and exposed. Vulnerable. **

**Something shifts inside of me and I try to be gentle. I want to be but I'm so close and he feels so good.**

**I whimper his name and press my lips against that lean throat of his. I lick, taste his skin and place my palm low on his side, feeling his heartbeat pound against it.**

**I feel his hand splay against my back, pulling me tighter and there is no way I can hold off any longer. I come hard and deep inside of him, feeling his muscles contract and milk me as he too, climaxes.**

**It hurts to breathe and as I pull out, we both groan. I watch the trickle of my fluid slowly drip from his body and sigh. I look up and catch him staring at me, his mouth swollen and eyes dazed. It's then that I realize that I don't want to ever be without this, without him.**

**I run my hands though my hair, "Christ, Spock, what do we do now?"**

**"I do not know."**

**I chuckle, "That does not help. Fuck, your ass is amazing."**

**"Thank you."**

**"You really need to learn to lighten up, Spock. Relax a little. We just had some mind blowing sex here, stop being so formal."**

**"I will try, Jim."**

**"Right."**

**I got up to retrieve a moist cloth from the bathroom. One for me and one for Spock. We were a mess but damn, I knew I was going to sleep like the dead tonight.**

**After a quick clean up with the rag, Spock stood and started dressing. "Wait, where are you ****going?"**

**Spock stopped and looked at me, "Are you really ready for the whole of Starfleet to know that I spent the night in your quarters?"**

**"Shit. No, I guess not. Dammit.. ahhh. Why can't you be a chick."**

**Spock raised his brow and replied quite simply, "Because then I would not be able to fuck you like you want."**

**I threw my head back and laughed, "There might be hope for you yet, Commander."**

**With a nod, Spock turned and left. I sat down on the bed and cursed. "I really hate sleeping alone." I muttered and flopped down, straight into a wet spot. Shit. **


End file.
